In Equilibrium newsletter 22

Dear subscribername, here is your latest copy of our newsletter:

In Equilibrium 22

If you signed up to this newsletter for your own personal use you can take yourself off our personal database here.  If you signed up to this newsletter to pass it onto others within your organization you can take yourself off our corporate database here.  View our privacy policy.

Please Remember: We encourage you to forward this newsletter to employees within your organization We now have hundreds of organizations who are distributing "In Equilibrium" to their staff.

Have you seen our new-look website?  Go to www.in-equilibrium.co.uk for information on the following:

Did you know that in addition to running his workshops Lifestyle Management and Maximizing Energy, Dr Mason Brown is also available for individual consultations in Edinburgh?  David consults on a one-to-one basis at the Medicalternative Practice in the Dean Village, Edinburgh.

You can access this resource in two ways:

1. To refer people from your organization contact us directly on 0131 476 5027.
2. To make private appointments (25 or 55 minutes) call Medicalternative direct tel: 0131 225 5656.

David can help with many issues, the most common are:

• Stress related illness and associated problems (including rehabilitation from stress related absence)
• Chronic tiredness and fatigue
• Anxiety
• Depression
• Achieving a healthy work-life balance

At work we are frequently stressed out by our workload. The real solution to this is to be realistic about your capabilities and assertive with those who pressurize you to take on more than you know you can handle.

However, from time to time we all find ourselves with too much to do and not enough time to do it in. A simple technique to help prioritize things is to imagine that you are going away at the end of the day, not for the evening, but for a whole year.

If that really was the case, what would you spend your time on for the rest of the day, it can help you focus on what is important as opposed to what appears to be urgent.

Back to top.

"There are admirable potentialities in every human being. Believe in your strength and your youth. Learn to repeat endlessly to yourself, "It all depends on me."

Andre Gide (1869-1951) French critic, essayist and novelist.

Back to top.

4. Book Review: Being Happy by Andrew Matthews

To Buy 'Being Happy' by Andrew Matthews click here

This really is an exceptional book. It is not by any means recent, having been first published in 1988, however the messages it delivers and the style used are timeless. It is written and illustrated by Andrew Matthews who is as talented with his drawing as he is with his writing. He is also a very entertaining public speaker if you ever get the chance to listen to him.

The whole object of this book is to get you thinking about yourself and the way you behave. It also discusses many personal development tools and techniques to enhance your health, happiness and performance.

Don't be put off by the front cover and the blurb on the back which can give the impression of a light hearted approach. The content is very serious, well researched and thought provoking. However the real magic of the book is in the extensive use of the humorous cartoons which are all drawn by the author. I found that the amusing illustrations brought me back down to earth while also accurately demonstrating the serious issues being discussed.

This is a very easy book to read and after each section there is a 'in a nutshell' summary of what has been covered. This really helps your understanding of what has just been discussed and how it fits in with the rest of the book. It is also very useful when you come to review the book in the future for suggestions and ideas to deal with challenging issues in your life. I have certainly used this book this way for many years now, I am sure you would also find it useful.

There are 6 chapters which cover the following areas:

Chapter 1: Patterns

This looks at the patterns, or habitual ways we live our lives and how we can break them if we need to. It also looks at Self-image, Health, Pain and Prosperity.

Chapter 2: Living in the Now

This chapter is about living in the present moment. It encourages you to take action and not to dwell on the past by holding grudges. It also looks at dealing with depression, happiness as a concept, and the use of humour in our everyday lives.

Chapter 3: Your Mind

This chapter is about attitudes and how they influence what we get out of life. Also covered in this chapter are various Personal Development concepts such as 'Mental Rehearsal' and the 'Law of Attraction'.

Chapter 4: Goals

This chapter is about the use of goals, problem solving and the concept of Risk v Reward. It is very motivational and down to earth. There are no magic formulas offered, emphasis is placed on Persistence and Effort and understanding that making mistakes is a vital part of achievement and success.

Chapter 5: Learning from Nature

This is about how to 'chill out' by understanding the way we are naturally meant to be. You are encouraged to learn from children and challenge your own self-importance and desires to be 'in control'.

Chapter 6: Here is Where You Begin

This concluding chapter is very brief. It basically says 'get stated with any changes now'!

Alastair Taylor

Do you have any thoughts/opinions on this or any other book review you have read in In Equilibrium? 

Please email us your comments to comment@in-equilibrium.co.uk

Back to top.

5. Al's Column: We Get By With a Little Help From Our Friends

This is 'Mind week', so I'm back to an old hobby horse of mine this month, the importance of social support in buffering the effects of stress. I like people, and my guess is that most people do. I'd go further and say that I need people. Without connections with others, and their support, my life would rapidly become meaningless. I find it hard to really enjoy some things without sharing them (especially real ale, which as you know I have a soft spot for).

This highlights the biggest risk factor of all in terms of mental (and in all likelihood, physical) health - isolation. This months report published by the mental health charity Mind on isolation and mental distress, is not alone(!) in highlighting the role that isolation plays in increasing risk to our well-being. The evidence about the risk posed by isolation, and there's a lot of it, is truly damning. When people become isolated, they become depressed, their immunity gives up the ghost, and in many cases, so do they, particularly if they are already at risk like older people. That is, they die. You only have to look at statistics of when care homes are closed, to see this graphically and tragically illustrated.

In many cases this starts at work, with stress. As stress becomes chronic, the stress starts to affect the person. They may become more withdrawn, or behave in ways that alarm colleagues in ways that may cause those colleagues to withdraw. Even a small incident can trigger a dangerous cycle that leads to more and more isolation. Of course, if the person becomes ill and is absent for any length of time that may increase feelings of isolation. Colleagues, and particularly managers, are very uncertain about what to do about stress-related absence, and often, for fear of doing the wrong thing do nothing at all! Contact with colleagues ceases altogether, leading to yet more isolation.

One part of the Mind report was very interesting - the fact that feelings of isolation were worse in some parts of the country than others. I have found a North-South divide for stress. I think it's far worse in the South. My impression is borne out in these figures - you are far more likely to feel isolated in the South than the North.

Why? There are a number of possibilities. People spend much longer commuting, giving less time for social life. People don't stay in the same place - there is less sense of community. People don't stay in the same job or career - work is where we get many of our meaningful connections with other people. People may earn more but are under much greater financial pressures in the South. As a result, priorities change, the need to make enough money to pay the mortgage, pay for transport, and finance consumer debt, can become all-consuming. These pressures put great strain on couples and families, and many break up. My impression is that not only do existing relationships suffer under these pressures, but that new ones don't get the chance to blossom and grow.

Like most things that are truly good for us and reap dividends over the medium to long term, connections and relationships, which are our personal support structures, require investment. There's a lot that could be learnt at work in the UK about really 'investing in people'. And I believe we can learn from other cultures too. We sometimes forget to our cost that we need each other, that we are interdependent, and that if we don't invest in others' success, we are less likely to succeed ourselves. In some cultures, the concept of 'me' doesn't have much meaning, whereas the concept of 'us' is what really matters. I realize that my column's been a bit serious this month, but isolation is a serious business. It kills people. Don't let yourself or others become isolated. Support each other.

Take care.

Alan Bradshaw

Back to top.

If you know of any resources on the internet that you think may be of interest to our readers, please email us at webresources@in-equilibrium.co.uk.

There are a number of interesting articles on the guardian online website looking at chemicals that we are exposed to as part of our daily routines. It also discusses the main ways to try to reduce this exposure. To give you a taster, here is a point they make for lipstick wearers: "The UK's most popular cosmetic, lipstick is used by 81% of women. Assuming you get through five lipsticks a year between the ages of 16-60, you will swallow 2lbs of the stuff, according to WEN, which has calculated that you absorb 90% of what you apply"

Food labelling, additives in children's foods and aspartame are some of the other topics covered. If you tried to follow all the suggestions you probably wouldn't have much time to have a life, however, picking out what is relevant for you, or becoming aware of the things that you might be exposing yourself to on a regular basis can't hurt can it??

Our whole life is made up of millions of present moments, and it is what and how we think and what we do and how we do it in each moment that determines the nature and quality of our lives.

Those who get the least done are more prone to sabotage each present moment. It is now known that the biggest worriers in our society can spend up to 60% of their waking hours worrying and even feeling guilty about the past. They spend another 20% of their time worrying and having anxiety or even fear about the future. This leaves them an amazingly little 20% for the present. Thus they do not achieve much.

The highest achievers on the other hand are able to learn from the past in a nonjudgmental way. Everything in the past has been a learning curve that has given them the insights to progress in the direction of the actual selves they want to be.  But they do not use more than 10% of their time dwelling on this knowledge. They are able to focus and prioritize.  Also they plan and goal set for the future, spending up to 10% of their time with skills like a weekly review, or a brain storming session, to ensure their future present moments proceed smoothly. Thus they are free to spend 80% of their time focussed on the present and doing the right thing in the right way at the right time.

Sometimes the right thing is to get one's head down and finish an important task. At other times it is to get one's head down and have an early night. Present moment experts pace themselves physically, mentally, and emotionally with high emotional intelligence.

We are on two simultaneous journeys: the outer journey of a lifetime with its millions of steps, and the inner journey of each present moment, the now, with its single step. Just make sure each of these single steps moves you in the right direction.

Next time I will write about how the correct use of the present moment, the now, can allow each of us to have a much happier and healthier as well as a more productive life.

Dr David Mason Brown

If you would like to know more about present moment living it is covered in Dr David Mason Brown's "Stress and Lifestyle Management Workshop

Dates for the open courses in "Stress and Lifestyle Management

We are keen to hear your thoughts and opinions....Perhaps you have a comment about our website, prioritizing, being happy...Maybe you don't agree with something you have read in this newsletter, or you find that a different approach works...

Please email us any comments to comment@in-equilibrium.co.uk

9. Stress Technique: Old Habits

If you are like most people, there will be times when you encounter difficulty in exchanging familiar habits for new ones. If you slack off practicing your new stress management skills, examine your excuses.

We often hear excuses such as "I'm too busy today" "I'm too tired" or "This isn't working" Do not be lured by these excuses. Of course, they are partially true. You may be busy, tired or progressing slowly. These excuses are also partially false. It is not because you are busy, tired or progressing slowly that you cannot practise the exercises.

Take responsibility for your decision to choose one activity over another by saying, "I am busy closing out the books for the end of the month. I could do the exercises, but I choose not to." Remember, you are in the driver's seat of your life.

Taken from "Stress Management" by Edward Charlesworth and Ronald Nathan.

Sign up to this newsletter for your own personal use.

Sign up to this newsletter in order to pass it onto others within your organization

To update your email address, simply reply to this email with both your old and new email address.

This message has been sent to the following e-mail address: subscriberemail.

Go to the Training Page on our website for information on the content of our open courses.

We have dates for Open Courses in venues from Stirling to Southampton.

Back to top.

© Copyright 2002 Equilibrium Associates Limited.